February 2012
1 post
I’ve become so upset by the fact that bitches email Clyde all the fucking time asking why he didn’t go to class and asking for his number so she can save him a fucking seat, and even worse him referring to her as his friend
friend?
really?
SILLY CLYDE, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE FRIENDS.
January 2012
1 post
My mother lost her job today.
I’m more than 2k in debt with my credit cards, we have no savings or anyone to turn to. I don’t know what we’re going to do but i know we don’t have enough for our rent due on the 4th of February. I hope you guys are doing better than we are-good luck
December 2011
2 posts
I wish i was posting more, i apologize.
I don’t know what’s going on and i’m too tired to think…but one of these days i’ll post about what im truly feeling. Once i figure out what that is, of course.
cant sleep....
stressing over money…
i need 400$ by january, i have a phone bill of 275$, i need to pay 250$ for rent and 50$ for my insurance.
as much as i try not to think about this, i can’t help it. im drowning.
and i also need to pay for tuition and books…fuck
November 2011
8 posts
Anonymous asked: you deserve better than him. i honestly dont get why you are with him at all
guys, i dont know how to kiss.
today clyde and i were making out and all of a sudden he pulled away from me and said “what are you doing? dont you know how to kiss?”
it totally killed the mood and made me feel horrible. what the fuck is wrong with him……or with me..
i am so exhausted from working two jobs and going...
i want a fertility test.
I am freaking out.
I ran a red light on accident the other day, and it was like a legit red light, too. Fortunately, no cars were going at the time and i didn’t hit anything-but now im freaking out. What if a camera saw me?! I don’t want to get a ticket mailed to me!
2 tags
“I want to be alone and I want people to notice me — both at the same time.”
– Thom Yorke (via theamandadiaries)
I’m incredibly upset. Somebody complained to our corporate offices at work that i was flirting with one of my co-workers and was being rude to her and paying more attention to him than her. She didn’t even complain to our managers at work, but she actually called our corporate offices to discuss it with them. The lady she spoke with at the corporate offices called my store manager, who...
October 2011
12 posts
I’m quite iffy on the new iPhone, if i do say so myself. Sometimes it’s exciting to me that i have just simply because of the fact that everybody else had one, and i guess i feel cool because i fit in now. Also, Clyde has one of them, and for Clyde to invest $250 of his own money in something, MUST mean it’s worth it. So we’ll see. Maybe i just have to get used to it,...
my credit limit was extended so i got $500 extra...
i just bought myself an iPhone4S. i’ve been wanting an iphone since the very first one came out, no shame.
i give up.
im sorry for never updating this, im sorry for not keeping you guys in touch with my life as much anymore. i wish i had the time and energy to keep you guys updated on everything that’s been going on but im exhausted.
i just scored a second job at the mall, so im going to try and balance school, and 2 jobs. quite frankly, i need the money. they just raised our rent $50 and while that might...
Clyde and i went to Target yesterday……and i tried on a bunch of the costumes in the kid’s section. I’m legit.
Clyde and i had plans tonight to hang out with a few of my guy friends, and i asked him if he was okay with going because previously he had prohibited me from hanging out with any guys. I was originally really happy about that because it showed me that he cared and he was actually (finally) jealous. So when i asked him if everything was cool for tonight, he said: ”“i dont care who you...
Well i guess i'm improving
because now i have 94 cents in my account :)
I spent all of last week with nothing but $.21 in my checking account and $.10 in my savings. Yes, that is a grand total of 31 CENTS.
I just got my paycheck today and it’s pretty much gone. $50 to my mom for my insurance, $40 to a friend whom i till owe $60 to more, and $50 for my school.
I long for the days when i can actually spend a paycheck on myself, and go on a shopping spree for...
Dirdiest thing i have done;
probably recording myself going down on Clyde
September 2011
30 posts
I'm angry.
I’m so angry at my mother. Why can’t she just see me happy, and be happy for me? Mom, can’t you see I’m happy with Clyde? I am. I really really am, can’t you be happy for me?
I got extremely drunk with Clyde today, and it was awesome. I had been longing to get drunk for a while now and today was the perfect opportunity. Although i did have a weird encounter when we had already started messing around and i decided i needed to go pee and his brother’s girlfriend was in the bathroom and let me in to pee…
Anyway, Clyde and i talked about different forms of...
3 tags
Clyde took me out yesterday, he spent over 70$ on us (which is rare for him cause he’s a big cheap-o) and he made me feel happy and amazing. He kept putting his arm around me, when i would put my arms around him he would caress my hand, little things like these that actually mean a lot to me. When we were driving up to where we were going, we had to go through this windy road which is...
I keep meaning to post a couple things on here, then i realize they’re too personal and i keep them to myself, sometimes i jut feel like i repeat myself too much and you are all probably sick and tired of my emotional problems, but for once, i actually feel happy. I don’t know what happened-Clyde and i were in his car, and we were coming back from the mall or from dinner or something...
365 days.
I think the only disappointment i had during me and Clyde’s anniversary was that he didn’t call in sick to work to spend the day with me, and i didn’t get an ‘i love you.’
I did get everything i wanted though, presents wise. I guess this is where it really kicks in that money/materialistic things really aren’t everything.
still avoiding clyde's parents~
so so so so embarrassed.
i meant with my aunt today to talk about a few things, clyde’s dad is extremely pissed.
i feel so horrible.
Well guys,
I am not pregnant. But my mom made a horrible scene at Cylde’s house which woke up his parents and i’m sure everyone else in the house. I’m so completely 100% embarrassed.
Well i’m spotting…but i dont have my period completely yet
i'm supposed to get my period today.
i still haven’t gotten it..but there’s still a couple hours left of today, right?!
If i’m actually not pregnant this time around, i’m really going to look into getting another form of birth control. I cant keep living my life forgetting to take my pills and then worrying it about it the whole month. I can’t even count the number of pregnancy scares i have had because i just forget to take the pill. My mindset is always “oh ill take it later” and...
I think i might be…pregnant
I’m trying to have more of a positive outlook on everything, and i’m trying my best to enjoy Clyde’s company, without looking at any of the negative parts of our relationship. I’m trying to be happy just to have him here with me, by my side, as a partner and best friend, but sometimes i can’t help but question why he hasn’t told me he loves me yet. I’m...
Hearts fly around but i love yous remain unsaid
Today (or should i say last night) Clyde invited me to go to the movies with him and his friends once he got off work, i panicked and made it seem like i was going to shower and go to bed, when i was really actually going to shower and change and go out to the movies. My mom was in bed by the time i got out of the shower, i talked Clyde into letting ME picking HIM up (usually it’s the other...
“come sleep with me: we won’t make love, love will make us”
– Julio Cortázar (via lovelybluepony)
Clyde and i made rootbeer floats and smoked hookah with his friends, night pretty well spent if i do say so myself!
Today Clyde’s uncle had a labor day bbq. We went over, and there were a couple people i hadn’t met, (whom i also wasn’t introduced to) and the food was good although his family gatherings, while they are quite often, are usually boring for me. I talk a minimal amount because i’m awkward and shy and i don’t want anyone to dislike me, so i end up nodding and smiling...
I can't deal with this anymore.
Everyday that Clyde is out and i’m not with him, i’m completely paranoid. Heck, i’m paranoid even when i AM with him. Yesterday, Clyde took me shopping, he took a couple minutes to himself to go check out the men’s section. The whole time i was paranoid thinking i should be with him because i don’t want any girls coming up to him.
Tonight, he is out with his...